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Your Biggest Strength

choice coaching descernment strength wagamese Jan 05, 2022

Ever wonder what your biggest strength is? In coaching, I’ve reviewed many strengths-based assessments with clients. Then usually proceeded to support clients in creating goals and using these strengths to achieve them. Especially at this time of year – January – the big goal-setting time of the year. Don’t get me wrong – using your values, vision and mission to create goals and action plans in writing is effective. In fact, putting these goals in writing makes them 80% more likely to happen than leaving them floating around in your head. I’m a big proponent of creating goals and writing them down. So, create goals and write them down. Then you gotta pull out your biggest strength to activate it.

 What is that strength, you ask? Choice. C-H-O-I-C-E. Don’t believe me? Read this, taken from What Comes from Spirit by Richard Wagamese:

 ME: What’s the biggest strength Creator gives me?

OLD WOMAN: Choice.

ME: That seems kinda small.

OLD WOMAN: It’s your true power. Your biggest power.

ME: Really? How so?

OLD WOMAN: With it you get to direct the course of your life. You can choose to give up. You can choose to hang on. You choose to feel angry. You choose not to listen, to stay tied to your past, to blame, to be prideful, to ignore humility. You choose your ego over your heart, to be a reactor or a creator. But you can also choose to let go, to have dignity, to forgive yourself and others, to see how valuable and beautiful you are, to be vulnerable and share your true self, to not be a victim. You can choose to be happy.

ME: All that is mine.

OLD WOMAN: It always was and always will be – but you have to choose to use it…

 You ARE the author of your life. In making choices, you direct the course of your life. I’ve made quite a few decisions in my life out of fear of the Not-Good-Enough. To be honest, a LOT of decisions. I actioned these decisions to create ‘successful’ outcomes but realize now I was really restricting myself. Making decisions from fear of Not-Good-Enough or from the place of judgement, otherwise known as the Would-a, Should-a, Could-a, result in decisions that constrict not only the options you have to choose from but also shuts down your potential to live a life aligned with freedom, happiness and fulfillment. As the wise Old Woman states, you can choose to respond, be a creator, let go, forgive yourself and others, be vulnerable and share your true self and open up a whole new world of possibilities!

 So, how can you make more decisions from a place of love and possibility? Know thyself – become more aware. Get curious. What is the reason you choose to react instead of respond? If you are looking the Not-Good-Enough in the face, like me, ask “What is true here?” Or “What % of truth is here?” There may be an element of truth in the fear but when challenged, not enough to dictate you make a decision from just that small percentage. Consider the other options. They are there – lots of them. Open up to other possibilities – how else could you choose to respond, instead of react? Then discern what choice resonates most with you. Use the checklist below to help you with discernment (and feel free to add to this list):

 Keys to Discernment

  1. What is true/not true about this?
  2. Does it feel constrictive or expansive (shackles on or off)?
  3. Does it exhaust me/fill me with dread or does it enliven me?
  4. Is it kind? (especially to you)
  5. Does it feel useful, natural, graceful, full of ease?
  6. Does it make sense?
  7. Will it hurt anyone?
  8. What does my heart say about this? i.e. What would love choose?
  9. Am I rushing this?
  10. Is it coercive or controlling?
  11. Body check – does my body feel contracted or expansive?
  12. Will this cultivate the potential/power in me?

 Using discernment will help you navigate away from making decision from fear and judgement and towards making decisions from a place of love and possibility. Where you value your worth and are unafraid to show up in your truth, with vulnerability and courage. That place of expansion and power and possibility are available to you. If you choose it. What are you choosing?

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